some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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