so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize