remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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