If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
