Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
