i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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