stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
