ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
