i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
