Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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