sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
