Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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