he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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