I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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