Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You are the jesus of drinking
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
