Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
This toilet bowl is my home.
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