Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
