Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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