Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
