JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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