i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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