just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
