I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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