so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
