Nicole vs. Life
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
And then my night got REAL pukey
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
