It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
