Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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