Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
