proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
