how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
