Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
