no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
His nipple licking is glorious
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