oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
