And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
false alarm, still single
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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