Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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