I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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