What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
