you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
