Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
