Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
