buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
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You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
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I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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