i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
