its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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