If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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