the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
