whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
