My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
