she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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