I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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