I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize