My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
