i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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