Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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