Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
