Are we in a gay sports bar?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
