I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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