He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize