You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
