I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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