"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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