Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
