She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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