I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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