I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the high leading the old right now
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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